Run to Heaven
Paris, Rory and Tanna sit in the common area of their suite. Rory is on
the phone with Loralei. Tanna is studying, and Paris sits on the sofa, a
stern look on her face. Janet walks in, having just come back from the
library.
- PARIS
- Hey, Barbie, I want a word with you.
- JANET
- What's with you? Chill out.
- PARIS
- Hey, I'm talking to you!
- JANET:
- Get your hands off me.
- PARIS
- Don't you walk away when I'm talking to you... Look, I've had it with
your pre-cock-a-doodle-do workout sessions. You woke me up yet again
this morning with all your grunting and panting. I'm sick of it! And I
ain't takin' it anymore!
- JANET
- What is it that bothers you? Me getting up early, or the grunting and
panting?
- TANNA
- Ouch.
- LORELAI
- (on phone)
- What's going on?
- RORY
- (on phone)
- Paris is going all ballistic on Janet about her getting up so early to
work out.
- LORELAI
- (on phone)
- What was that about grunting and panting? I don't know Ror, seems like
you may have some competition, there, kiddo. Maybe you should break them
up.
- RORY
- (on phone)
- Too late.
Janet steps right into Paris.
- PARIS
- Girl, you better get those boobs out of my face!
- JANET
- I'll put my boobs wherever I want.
- PARIS
- How dare you talk to me like that. Do you know who I am?
- JANET
- Yes, we've heard it a thousand times. You're Paris Gellar, the Holy
Grail in human form, the living, breathing vessel that God poured his
love into--
- PARIS
- You're darn tootin'. So you better straighten up and fly right missy.
- JANET
- Look, Paris, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I have an uncle
who's a psychiatrist. He knows people that work at Bellevue. I'm sure if
I told him about you, he could call in some favors, cut through all the
paperwork, and get you admitted as soon as possible. You may think I
hate you, but I don't. I want you to get the help you so obviously
desperately need.
- PARIS
- Think you're pretty funny, Miss Juiced-Up-On-Steroids, huh? -- Hey, I
told you, get those boobs out of my face!
- JANET
- Make me.
- PARIS
- How about this: How about if I put you over my knee and give you a good
spanking?
- JANET
- What?
- RORY
- (on phone)
- Uh-oh, I think we're about to have a serious S and M moment here, Ma.
- PARIS
- You heard me.
- JANET
- I'd like to see you try.
- PARIS
- Oh, I bet you would. Shall we step into my bedroom?
- JANET
- On my way.
They march into the bedroom.
- LORELAI
- (on phone)
- Rory, did I hear that right?
- RORY
- (on phone)
- You heard it.
- LORELAI
- (on phone)
- Uhh, aren't you going to do something? I mean, Paris is your wife.
- RORY
- (on phone)
- No. It's okay. If Paris needs me she'll call me.
Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Janet and Paris face off. They rush
together and wrestle. It's a fierce battle, their hot, sweaty bodies
colliding in fierce combat. Janet is like a woman possessed, and being
bigger and stronger, finally gets the upper hand. She pins Paris to her
bed. She gets Paris in a vicious choke hold.
- JANET
- So you're so concerned about my boobs, huh? Well how about a boob
sandwich for you?
Janet presses her boobs into Paris' face, smothering her.
- JANET
- Ever since I arrived here you've been a pain in my butt. Now the shoe
is on the other foot. Doesn't feel so good, does it?
No sooner do the words leave Janet's mouth when Paris stuns her by
reversing her move. She straddles on top of Janet, pinning her arms
behind her back.
- JANET
- Well, I guess you won. You going to spank me?
- PARIS
- Do you want me to spank you?
- JANET
- You can do whatever you want. You're the one on top. I mean, that's the
way our world works, isn't it?
- PARIS
- I know what I'd like to do.
- JANET
- And what is that?
Paris presses her body against her. She moves forward to kiss her,
but Janet turns away.
- PARIS
- What? This is what you've wanted, isn't it? Since the first time we
laid eyes on each other.
- JANET
- Tanna said... Tanna said that Rory told her that you and Rory were
married. Is that true?
- PARIS
- So what if we were?
- JANET
- Then it is true... Why are you two here if you're married?
- PARIS
- We wanted to go through Yale just like everyone else... You're jealous.
- JANET
- No I'm not. It's just that if you two are together--
- PARIS
- It's okay. Me and Rory--
- JANET
- Swing?
- PARIS
- Let's just say we keep an open mind... Of course, not just with anyone.
It would have to be someone very special.
Janet breaks free from Paris and rises. She heads for the door.
Paris stops her.
- JANET
- Look, I'm obviously not special. So you and Rory go about your lives,
okay?
Paris runs her hand through Janet's hair. She wraps her arms around
her. She kisses her on the lips. Janet weeps for joy.
- PARIS
- You are one of the most special people I've ever met... Just...
- JANET
- What?
- PARIS
- Look, you can run all the way to Heaven for all I care. Can you just
not do it so early in the morning?
- JANET
- No. That's the way I've always done it and I'm not going to change.
- PARIS
- You really want that spanking, don't you?
Paris forces her up against the wall. Her hands take their pleasure
of Janet's body.
- PARIS
- Rory, get in here!