Can My Life Get Any Weirder!

By David A. Knapton

Title: Can My Life Get Any Weirder! 5/?
Author: David A Knapton.
E-mail: belgin_tei (at] yahoo [dot] co [dot) uk
Rating: 12A/PG-13.
Summary: The second, first date.
'' = Thought.


-5-

After another shower, both women got ready to go down and have dinner in the restaurant. Having decided that if they really were going to try to make their relationship work, they should start small by having dinner together.

They walked hand-in-hand into the rather nice hotel restaurant, getting the occasional stare from the other diners, but generally, they were no more or less interesting to the other guests than any other diner. They squeezed each other's hand in reassurance as they were shown to a table.

"So what do you want to drink?" Joyce asked as their waiter handed them two menus.

"Oh a vodka martini, please," replied Lorelai looking up at the waiter.

"Two vodka martinis please," ordered Joyce.

Lorelai watched as the waiter walked away before looking back at her wife, "Did you just order for me?"

Joyce smirked across the table, "Why yes I did," she replied.

"So you think I'm just going to let you make all the decisions?" asked Lorelai a little edge to her tone.

"How about we wrestle over it later," smirked Joyce her eyes dancing.

Lorelai's face broke into a wide smile, "I think this is the start of a beautiful marriage."

"Yes," smiled Joyce opening her menu. "And as far as I'm concerned, this should be a marriage of equals after all neither of us have to put up with a male ego."

Lorelai nodded as she glanced around the dining room, "Well we haven't been tarred and feathered yet, so that's good," she whispered as they each browsed the menu.

"I'm glad because cleaning tar off suede boots is hell," chuckled Joyce.

* * * * *

As the two sat drinking their after dinner coffee, Lorelai brought up the next problem they faced, where to go next. "Well, Rory will be in Europe for another month, so I guess it would be easier for us to go to Sunnydale and tell your family and friends first."

"Well I'm not so sure about the easier part. But if you're up for coming back with me, we can book the flight for tomorrow morning?"

"Ah that could sort of be a problem! All my money is tied up in my Inn right now," blushed Lorelai.

"I have the money. After all, if this relationship is to get off to the proper start we need to start sharing everything."

"What's mine is yours etc."

"Something like that," chuckled Joyce. "Only I was thinking what's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine."

"Could work for me," smirked Lorelai. "You can have all the bills for the renovation of the Dragonfly Inn."

Joyce pulled out her phone and ordered two tickets for the early morning flight from Boston to Los Angeles. She stood as she put her phone away and offered her hand to her wife, "Come on Mrs Summers. Let's go tell the desk clerk, we are checking out tomorrow morning," laughed Joyce.

"Hey, must I remind you, we haven't decided on a last name yet," Lorelai pointed out joining her wife as they exited the dining room.

"Well I actually like your idea of a double last name," smiled Joyce pulling Lorelai by the hand and heading for the desk.

"Good evening, Mrs and Mrs Summers-Gilmore," greeted the white haired man behind the desk as the two women walked up. "I hope you are both enjoying your stay with us?"

"Well that settles that," chuckled Lorelai glancing at Joyce.

"Yes, very much so. However, we need to catch a flight to LAX tomorrow morning. Can you have our bill ready by five...? Oh and also have someone call us at four thirty?" asked Joyce.

"Of course, Mrs Summers-Gilmore," nodded the man. "Will you be requiring anything else this evening?"

"No thank you. Goodnight," replied Joyce as she turned to leave.

"Goodnight Mrs Summers-Gilmore," smiled the man as he watched the blonde's insistent pull on her wife's hand, "And goodnight to you, Mrs Summers-Gilmore," he winked at the brunette, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"'Night," Lorelai called back unable to stop the giggle escaping her as she allowed her wife to guide her to the stairs.

* * * * *

As soon as the door closed on the world, Lorelai pinned Joyce to the door, capturing the blonde's lips with her own as her hand slid up to begin caressing her wife's breast.

While their tongues were dancing with each other, Joyce's hands were around the back of Lorelai's neck. She released the straps holding the front of the brunette's dress up before caressing her hand down her wife's bare back to the clasp and zip, which she easily opened and pulled down.

As Lorelai was desperately trying to kick her dress off and move them both to the bed, a phone began playing an extract from Beethoven's 9th symphony. She moaned, 'Mum would be so surprised to hear that I know what that is!' Knowing that it was not her phone, she broke the kiss she was sharing with Joyce, "I don't suppose you would consider not answering it?"

Joyce smiled at Lorelai as she dug her phone from her purse and looked at the caller ID, "Sorry, it's my daughter. If I don't answer, she'll think something has happened." She clicked a button to connect the call, "Buffy, dear. Is everything alright?" she asked turning her back to her wife and stepping away.

"I think I should be asking you that. Mum, why are you breathing so hard?"

'Damn Slayer hearing.' Joyce sighed, "I ah... just had to hunt around for my phone," she lied.

Mischief danced in Lorelai's eyes as she stepped up to Joyce's back and wrapped her arms around the older woman and started gently kissing and sucking at her pulse point, extracting a small groan.

"Mum, who's there with you?" asked Buffy suspicion heavy in her voice.

"I ah don't know what you mean, Buffy. There's no one with me," Joyce tried assuring her daughter as she stifled another groan.

"Huh uh. Mum you know how I never ever want to hear that you're having sex with a man other than dad... Oh god, I just got a visual of you and Giles. Eew, I have to go now and bleach my brain eew," cried Buffy.

"Buffy. I swear to you that I am not having sex with a man. And if it will make you feel better about it, I don't plan on having sex with any man for the foreseeable future," Joyce smirked at Lorelai as she turned in her wife's arms.

"And I'm supposed to believe that, why?"

"Because I'm your mother, dear," smiled Joyce. "Oh dear," she suddenly cried into the phone dramatically as her eyes twinkled.

"What! What's wrong mum," Buffy asked worry in her voice.

"I just remembered that I left my bra in the bar," replied Joyce in a serious tone before bursting into laughter.

"Eew mother."

"Yes dear, I am," chuckled Joyce before becoming serious. "I'm fine, Buffy, really. I've just finished dinner and am planning on going to bed early as I plan on flying home tomorrow. Do you think you could ask Mr Giles to pick us up from Sunnydale airport?"

"Yeah, sure mum... Wait. Us? You are having sex with a man aren't you?" accused Buffy.

"No dear. I'm just bringing someone I have grown very close to over the last couple of days back for a visit."

"Mother," exclaimed Buffy with a little catch in her voice, "What's going on?"

"Something that I am not prepared to discuss with you over the phone. Trust me, Buffy. You will want to hear it face to face. Now dear, it's getting late here and we have an early flight tomorrow."

"Fine. But I won't like him," pouted Buffy.

"Goodnight Buffy. Please tell Mr Giles that I'll phone the Magic Box when I get to LAX."

"Okay, 'night mum, love you," Buffy answered disconnecting and turning to her friends sitting around the living room. "She's fine. She's bringing someone home with her tomorrow."

"That's good," smiled Willow. "So your mum's seeing someone?"

"I don't know!" frowned Buffy as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

"I don't know why you have a problem with your mother having sex. Her body may be growing old and her breasts are beginning to sag, but that's the nature of humans. She has every right to enjoy sex in her remaining years," offered Anya.

"Thanks for those visuals Anya. Will, any chance you could hack into the airline computers and find out about this man, mum is bringing here. Make sure he's at least human? After Ted, I'm not sure I trust her judgment!" said Buffy.

"I guess... If you want!" sighed Willow.

"Buff, your mum knows about demons and things, she didn't when she dated Ted the robot," Xander pointed out.

"I know," sighed Buffy. "But I can't help worrying about her... it's not that long ago, she got the all clear."

"We know," said Xander getting up and placing his hand on the Slayer's shoulder. "But your mum's smart, she'll be okay. So, we going to the Bronze?"

"Yeah. We'll make a quick sweep of the cemeteries on the way. I feel like hurting something," replied Buffy leading the way out the door.

"She seems to be taking the idea of her mum's boyfriend better than I thought," chuckled Xander as they all followed.

* * * * *

Joyce disconnected the call and looked into her wife's mirth filled eyes, "That was evil," she declared.

"But fun," smirked Lorelai. "But let me make it up to you," she said slipping the spaghetti shoulder straps down the blonde's arms.

"I don't know!" sighed Joyce dramatically. "You were a naughty girl, maybe I should spank you."

"Ooh daddy," giggled Lorelai, "That would be fun," she said reaching behind her wife and pulling the zip of the blonde's dress down before helping it slip down her body.

"Maybe later," smiled Joyce stepping out of the dress pooled at her feet and pulling the unresisting Lorelai over to the bed as she began devouring her wife's mouth.

* * * * *

"So how are we going to get to the airport? Separate cars?" asked Lorelai as they exited the hotel.

"No, you follow me to the rental offices and then we can go in yours," suggested Joyce.

"That'll work. Of course when we come back we'll need to fly back to Boston and drive from there to Stars Hollow," Lorelai pointed out as she opened the back of her jeep and they stepped aside to allow the porter to place their cases inside.

"I think we could probably arrange for it to be shipped to Hartford and drive from there."

"Okay, works for me," smiled Lorelai giving Joyce a quick kiss before hurrying around to the driver's side.

To be continued...