Learning to Love

By Majandra

TITLE: Learning to Love
AUTHOR: Majandra
PAIRING: Rory/Lane
RATING: PG-13 for homosexual themes
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, never have, never will, blah, blah, woof, woof. I wish I did own Lorelai though, or at least Lauren Graham. Can you say "Whoa! Hot!"
NOTE: There's no Rorelai in this. It didn't fit, so I edited it out. This is pure Rory/Lane. Hope that's okay.


Possibly the last person Rory expected to come through the door of her room at her grandparents was her mother, but there Lorelai was, in the doorway.

"Hey," she started.

Rory cut her off, showing her surprise at seeing Lorelai. "Mom!"

"Okay, so I thought when you said, 'I'll see you at home,' you meant our home. My mistake." Always with a joke, Lorelai attempted to defuse the situation. Rory got up off the bed and went over to Lorelai, hugging her.

"I'm so sorry."

"Its okay."

"All those things…"

"I know."

"And then the…"

"Its no big deal."

"I'm just so…"

Lorelai cut her off, tired of the half sentences. "I know, I know, I know. So last time I saw you, you were headed home, you wanna fill in the blanks?"

Rory sighed. "I don't know. I just snapped and I got sick of everything. I wanted to go anywhere."

"So you picked hell?"

"It was the first place that came to mind."

"I respect that." Lorelai sat at the foot of the bed, next to Rory.

"Listen, the need to run is a feeling I am very well acquainted with. But we have to be able to talk always. No matter how mad or upset we get with each other our particular special thing only works if we agree to that, get it?"

"I get it."

"Good. Rory, tell me what happened with you and Dean."

Rory's face turned sour. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I do," Lorelai said stubbornly. Rory sighed inwardly, this was one of the traits she wished her mother DIDN'T possess. Unfortunately, she had the tenacity of a pit bull, so she knew there was no getting out of this conversation.

"Why?"

" Because I had a little chat with him today," Lorelai confessed.

Rory was aghast. "What? Why?"

"Well, because I was upset and I was in the mood to do a little yelling," she acknowledged.

"You didn't."

"Did."

"No."

"There he was stacking cookies and I'm railing on him about what a great kid you are and how it sucked that he dumped you, and then he said that he told you he loved you and I started feeling a little stupid."

"He did tell me." Rory said sheepishly.

"And you didn't say anything?" Lorelai asked.

"No."

"Well that must have been rough on him."

"He looked so hurt. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt him. But I don't love him."

"You don't?"

"I just got scared and I sat there."

"I understand. You know, I'm still learning this stuff too and since I'm still learning, I think I haven't thought enough about what I'm supposed to be teaching you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my own personal lack of commitment skills. I mean, look, I love that you have my eyes and my coffee addiction and my taste in music and movies, but when it comes to love and relationships, I don't necessarily want you to be like me. I would hate to think that I raised a kid who couldn't say I love you."

"Mom," Rory protested.

"I'm not even talking specifically about Dean. I mean just generally in life. So you don't love Dean. That's okay. But, for example, say you're dating Taylor Hanson."

"Why am I dating Taylor Hanson?" Rory asked, incredulously.

"It's a hypothetical scenario, go with it. So, uh, you and Taylor have been seeing each other pretty regularly…"

"How did I meet Taylor Hanson?" Rory wanted to know.

"You went to his concert, you got backstage, your eyes met across the crowd and you've been seeing each other ever since," Lorelai improvised.

Just to clarify, Rory asked "Hanson's still together?"

Lorelai improvised some more. "They're the new Bee Gees. So…" she attempted to continue to her point.

"And why would you not stop me from going to a Hanson concert?" Rory cut her off again.

"Hey, someone's trying to make a point here."

"Sorry. Go ahead."

"So you and Taylor have been dating for a while, and things are great, and, um, you're happy, and you feel all those crazy mushy things that people feel when they're in love. I want you to be able to say to him, Taylor, I love you."

"Okay, can we pick a new hypothetical? 'Cause this one's wigging me out."

"My point is that it's scary to be in love, that much I know, but it's also wonderful and special and if you can't say it or fully express it then you're never gonna be able to experience it and I want you to experience everything that's great because you're so great. Are you hearing me?"

"Yeah, I'm hearing you." What Rory DIDN'T add, however, was that she WAS in love. But she didn't feel she could share this with Lorelai, no matter how good their relationship was. She wasn't ready. Especially since not even the object of her affections knew yet.

"I'm not saying you say, "I love you" at the drop of a hat. It has to be right and real and it has to take a lot of thought. But someday with someone it will be right. I want you to be ready for that moment when it happens." Lorelai bulldozed on.

"Are you ready for that moment when it happens?" Rory shot back at her.

"I'm working on it. I do however know what dress I'll be wearing." Lorelai finished her almost serious sentence facetiously, with her trademark cheeky grin. Rory had to smile.

Inside Lorelai's jeep, Rory was filling her mother in on how her evening had been. "I was almost tempted to see if she could make a Pop Tart."

"Wow, home cooked breakfast, homemade lunch, I'm trying to remember why I left there. Oh yeah, my parents."

"Funny, funny girl."

As they drove past Lane's house, Rory turned to her mother. "Hey, let me out here."

"Oh okay," Lorelai pulled over.

"I'll meet you back at the house," Rory told her.

"Excuse me?" Lorelai asked.

"I'll show up this time," Rory reassured her.

"I'll have the pizza waiting."

Rory knocked on the door of Lane's house, and watched as Lane answered the door. She watched her daughter hug her best friend, and drove off happily, none the wiser. Rory turned to Lane.

"Lane, can we talk? I mean, really talk?" she asked, nervously.

"Okay, sure. Come on in."

They walked up to Lane's room, making sure to tell Mrs. Kim that Rory was there. Otherwise, Lane could be punished for sneaking people into the house.

Once in Lane's room, Rory started pacing nervously.

"Whoa, whoa, Rory, what's up babe? It's not about Dean, is it? Cos I should be able to switch partners if you really want me to."

"It's not about Dean. In fact, it's about… you."

"What about me? I already told you I was sorry for babying you… I only want to keep you safe, Rory. You have to believe me. I had the best of intentions…"

"Lane, I love you." Rory blurted.

"I know that, silly," Lane said quickly, not quite understanding her.

"No, Lane. Listen to the words coming from my mouth. I am in LOVE with you. I love you, Lane, and I shouldn't have said anything, because you're going to hate me, and I bet your mother will hate me more than ever when she finds out, but I told you, and now I have to go."

With that, she ran from the room, down the stairs and out the front door, tears streaming down her face. What had possessed her to tell Lane everything she was feeling, she would never know, but she had, and she knew things would never be the same.

"Rory, wait!" Lane cried, as she watched her best friend in the world run away, but there was no answer.

Rory ran home. She entered the living room to find Lorelai reclining on the sofa. She threw herself onto her mother's lap, sobbing uncontrollably, and buried her head in Lorelai's chest. Lorelai was stunned, but wrapped her arms around her bawling daughter nonetheless.

"Rory, baby, what happened? Did you and Lane fight again?" she asked, rubbing Rory's back. Rory only cried harder.

"Baby, I can see you're hurting, but we talked about this, okay? Our thing doesn't work unless you tell me what's wrong, and vice versa. So can you calm down enough to talk about it?"

Rory took a deep breath. "I don't think you're going to like this," she began, sniffling, holding back the sobs that had yet to form.

"You can tell me anything, and I won't get mad, I promise. Unless you're pregnant… god, you're not pregnant, are you?"

"I'm not pregnant. This has to do with that speech you gave me at Grandma and Grandpa's house… the one about being able to say I love you when the occasion arises. Mom, I'm love, but I think I just ruined everything…"

"Dean?" Lorelai asked carefully. Yes, Rory had already revealed that she didn't love Dean, but who else could it be? She'd been playing it pretty close to the chest if it wasn't Dean.

"Not Dean. Lane. And I told her, and she just looked at me, and I ran, and now I'm here. It's such a mess…" Rory wailed, burying her head back into her mother's chest.

"Does… does she love you back?"

"Why would she? I don't think she does… although, admittedly, I didn't stick around to hear her reaction."

"I think you need to go back there, and talk to her, Rory. And I'm going to take you over there, and I'm going to wait at Luke's while you talk to her. And then, no matter what the outcome, you're going to get her past her pit bull of a mother and bring her to Luke's and I'm going to treat you both to coffee, because she's always going to be your best friend, no matter what. So march yourself out that door. I'm right behind you."

The last thing in the world Rory wanted to do was what her mother was suggesting. However, there was no arguing with Lorelai when she got into serious mother mode. It didn't happen very often, but when it did, no one was spared. Especially Rory. She had to admit, though, she was glad she'd told her mother. It made her feel… safer.

"So, you going to tell me how long this has been going on?" Lorelai asked gently, as they walked to Kim's Antiques. Lorelai was holding Rory's hand for support. Rory's face turned red.

"I think… as long as I can remember, now that I think about it. But I only realized when she and Dean were paired together for their science project, and she was being so protective of me about her working with Dean, and I just thought, am I crazy? I don't want him. I want her."

"Rory, I have to ask you a serious question. How long have you liked girls?"

Rory thought about it. "I don't know. I don't know if I like girls, or if I like Lane, or what. I just don't know."

"Labels are for soup cans, honey," Lorelai told her. "This is where we part ways. I'll meet you in Luke's in a bit, okay?"

"Okay, Mom." They hugged, and Rory approached Lane's front door with trepidation. She knocked, and the door was flung open.

"Oh, God, Rory, thank god you came back," Lane exclaimed, throwing her arms around the startled girl. Rory, recovered quickly, and hugged back. Lane dragged Rory up to her room.

"My Mom talked sense into me," Rory said sheepishly. "She said no matter what your reaction to my little outburst, you'd always be my friend, and she's waiting to buy us coffee in Luke's. So, uh…"

"Listen, I need to tell you something," Lane mumbled.

"It's okay, I know you don't feel that way about me. It's cool. It was a minor indiscretion. We won't speak of it again, ok?"

"No, Rory… Listen to me. When you told me you loved me today, I thought my heart had stopped. I never, ever in my life, thought you would say those words to me. You're like the America's Golden Girl of Star's Hollow, and everyone loves you. I thought with all that love, you wouldn't need my love. But it looks like I was wrong."

"You were so wrong," Rory whispered, looking into Lane's eyes. "How could you think I wouldn't love you?"

"I don't know," Lane whispered, lost in Rory's gaze. "So, uh, I don't have a lot of experience with this stuff. What happens now?"

"Now? We kiss?" Rory said hopefully. She leaned in and brushed her lips over Lane's, prompting an immediate reaction. For someone who had been all but locked up her entire life, Lane sure knew how to kiss!

Lost in each other, they kissed for what seemed like endless ages, until Rory pulled back and exclaimed, "Mom! She's waiting for us!"

"What do I tell my mother?"

"Tell her you're sleeping over. Lorelai will be cool with that."

Having successfully passed the dragon lady, the two girls entered Luke's hand in hand. Lorelai waved excitedly.

"You two patched things up, I see," she said, her voice as excited as her wave. Rory smiled and reached over to hug Lorelai.

"Thanks, Mom," she whispered as she was enveloped in her mother's arms.

Lorelai reached for Lane next. "Welcome to the family," she said cheekily.

Lane smiled.

"Thanks Mrs. Gilmore," she said.

THE END