A Day In The Life

FADE IN

INT: GILMORE HOUSE, RORY'S ROOM - MORNING.

Close on LORELAI, sound asleep in an armchair, head rolled to the side. An alarm clock starts BEEPING. Lorelai sits up too quickly and hurts her neck. In considerable pain--and annoyance--she throws a pillow at the alarm, missing it and sending a vase to the floor with a CRASH instead.

LORELAI

Irony rears its ugly and expensive head once again.

Rory is nowhere to be found. Lorelai takes this in and closes her eyes with a pained expression. The BEEPING continues, before:

LORELAI

Shut up already!

She stands up on shaky legs and gets her feet caught in the armchair cover, floundering over. Stay on the bed as Lorelai falls off with a heavy THUD.

LORELAI (OS)

Ow.

A moment later Lorelai's arm appears at the bedside table, fumbling around for the alarm clock. She finally finds it and hits it hard. The BEEPING stops.

LORELAI (OS)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fascinating instalment of "a day in the life" with your host Lorelai Gilmore.

CUT TO:

INT: DINER - MORNING

A tired MONICA enters the empty diner, wearing Lukes shirt and cap. She limps around the counter, coming face to face with LUKE as he exits the kitchen. Luke carelessly rips his cap off Monica's head to her shock.

MONICA

Hey!

Monica angrily sweeps Lukes cap off his head and slips it on. Luke glares.

LUKE

Give me my cap back--and get out.

MONICA

No--I want to know why Jack's back.

LUKE

What?

MONICA

Your shitty attitude. I know we didn't have the night of nights but you can't possibly be angry at me for buying a bottle of wine.

LUKE

I am! Don't you get it?

MONICA

What's to get?

LUKE

Rory walked past here ten minutes ago.

Monica shrugs her shoulders.

LUKE

It's SEVEN IN THE MORNING! There's only been two occasions where she's been in town this early. One was the annual twenty four hour dance marathon and the other was the morning before my birthday two years ago.

MONICA

And the point of the boring story is?

LUKE

Her and Lorelai had the biggest fight I've ever known them to have that night. It was enormous. It was equivalent to Pamela's bust! Rory left home before I even opened and didn't return home till I closed up--and history is repeating itself because of you!

MONICA

(defensive)

She could've gone to school early to study for an exam or something. You know how dedicated she is with school.

LUKE

So now that you've known her for all of, what, five minutes, you can accurately judge her behavior?

MONICA

I never said I knew her better--

LUKE

--because if you did, in fact, know her better you never would've lied to her in the first place!

Monica points a finger at Luke.

MONICA

I didn't lie to her! Lorelai was the one who made up the story about the vase and I got caught in the middle!

LUKE

Why would Lorelai do that?

MONICA

She obviously has something loose in her head.

The door CLICKS shut and Monica looks past Luke to find KIRK. Monica calms herself down and CLEARS her throat.

MONICA

Morning Kirk.

Monica grabs a pen and paper from the counter while Kirk takes a seat. Luke stops her as she heads his way.

LUKE

(firmly whispering)

What do you think you're doing?

MONICA

Serving YOUR customer.

LUKE

Didn't you get the memo? You don't work here anymore--now give me back my clothes and get out.

MONICA

Didn't you get my singing telegram?

(singing)

I don't care what you say, I'm gonna work here anyway. I don't care what you do, I'm gonna keep your cap 'cause it's blue.

(normal)

That's not how I wanted to end that.

KIRK

(singing)

I'm gonna keep your cap 'cause it's cool.

Monica and Luke look at him.

MONICA

(smilingly)

Thanks Kirk.

(singing)

I'm gonna keep your cap 'cause its cool.

Monica purposely shoves past an incensed Luke and limps over to Kirk.

END TEASE