College.

Faith grabbed a 10-dollar bill out of her tattered old wallet to hand to the overweight cab driver with the sweating problem. He was doing his best to brush his oily black hair, or what he actually had left of it, back into place with a comb as he skidded into a parking space. The slayer rolled her eyes for the third time that morning, wondering if his dangerous driving had bruised her ribcage. She could take it, but that hot little tank top of hers wouldn't that night at P3.

< The bruises probably won't even be there... but this guys dreaded smell will be with me for the rest of the week. P.U. >

"Not one for words, are you darling?" the cab driver said, turning to face her.

Despite the driver having bad breath, Faith pulled off her seatbelt, sat up so her face was inches away from his and opened her mouth to speak.

"A simple tip. Listerine, Degree, Alberto V05... no hang on... Rogaine, a membership at your local gym, and Drivers Ed. 101."

"Hey! You little witch!"

"Oh... I'm not actually one, but I know a couple of them. Nice people. In fact, I'm dating one of them."

The smelly cab driver went to grab Faith over the front seat, but the slayer had jumped out of the cab, smiling back at him as she threw her money back into his cab. Without looking back at him, Faith walked through the front gates of the University of San Francisco, a slight grin crossing her face.

It was her first day of college.

The slayer had finally got there.

< Thanks to the girls... >

Faith was referring to her surrogate family, the Halliwells, who had encouraged her to return to schooling, and who had endured the brunt of Faiths frustration over her education. Or lack of education.

< That's what happens when you leave school at fifteen... not that I actually had to leave because I didn't actually spend a whole lot of time there... >

Faith had never been a quick learner academically, so she had been studying day after day for the past year working towards a good SAT score. Her nights had been spent at the local high school for a night class, which was handy because the main hang out for vamps and demons was right around the corner. Very handy. It was hard enough trying to have a life outside of the slaying without having to get caught in the traffic of San Francisco.

Her family, especially Sydney, had helped her study when they got home from work. Phoebe, who was a former graduate, was of no help surprisingly. The youngest Halliwell had suggested she help Faith with her maths work, but they hadn't done much studying that day. Or any of the other days Phoebe wanted to assist.

< Couldn't keep our hands off each other... >

Faith had carefully told her girlfriend that their study sessions were not working the way they should be, and Phoebe had agreed not to help any more, for the sake of Faiths education.

Things hadn't been running smoothly for the two of them lately though. Faith couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when it got awkward between the two of them, but she knew it had to do with Phoebe's father. He had already had a problem with having one lesbian daughter, Piper, but had supposedly gotten over it. Now that Phoebe had told him about her and Faith, he was avoiding all of them.

The slayer was worried about it, but thinking about it wasn't conducive to getting a diploma in business. She checked her watch, and swore out loud at how late it was. Her class was starting now, and she had no idea where her classroom was.

< Ok, I'm gonna do well if I actually get there... get your ass into gear, Faith, and get to your business class. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped off for coffee on campus. What a great start to college life. Be known forever as 'the late girl'. >

Faith picked up her pace to a full sprint, thanking God for coffee cup lids, and smiled at the thought that her brain might actually get her somewhere in life.

Meeting.

< Ten minutes late. Shit. >

Faith entered the auditorium, and spotted the teacher already talking. He spotted her as well and stopped.

< Shit. One thing worse than being late to class, and that's the duschbag that's teaching noticing you're late. >

"Good to see you could make it. This is a business class, you know that?" the teacher had a sharp English accent, which reminded her of Giles, Buffy's watcher. That's where the familiarities stopped. Faith didn't know what to say to such a stupid question. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry.

"Um, yes."

Everyone in the packed auditorium was looking at her. Everyone. Most were rolling their eyes, and snickering. She spotted a free seat beside an older woman who seemed to be the only one smiling up at her. The woman had piercing blue eyes, and they held Faiths for a moment, before the slayer reeled back into reality, hearing the thick English accent again.

"... you deaf? This is a business class, so it's your business to get here on time, understand?"

"Ah yes, sorry... Sir." Faith nodded her head, and continued to stand, looking down at her teacher.

"Are you going to sit down, or take this class on your two feet for the rest of the year?"

The class laughed at her, and a few bimbo girls took the chance to sniggle amongst themselves.

"Oh yeah. Sorry." Faith hated being made a fool of, but bit her tongue and kept quiet, the urge to insult him back fading. She gave the three bimbo blondes a death glare, which shut them up, before rushing down to the free seat.

"Thanks." Faith whispered as she dug into her shoulder bag to retrieve her pen and notebook.

"Thank you." The woman smiled a smile that lit up her whole face, and her blue eyes brightened even more.

"Why do I get a 'thank you'?" Faith said, puzzled.

"Because you're my new best friend." The woman stated quickly, an amusing grin on her face as she looked back at the professor.

Faith wanted to know who this woman was, but she was concentrating on the teacher, so Faith decided she'd better too.

* *

< I can't feel my hand... or my butt. Mental note: bring pillow tomorrow... and an artificial arm. >

The whole slayer thing meant the numbness Faith felt had only set in after an hour and half of 'English guy', and the brunette chuckled out loud at the thought of the rest of the students nursing their aches and pains throughout the class.

"I laugh too when I think about how ridiculous the whole 'who shot J.R?' storyline was."

"Who's J.R?" Faith asked quickly, a confused look crossing her face.

"Don't worry. Just making myself seem really, really old." The woman smiled at her own comment, and looked up at the students streaming out of auditorium. Faith noticed that they were holding up the line while they sat, so she stood up and threw her notes into her bag, the other woman following her lead.

"I would've been worried if you had just mentioned Lucille Ball. Then you'd be really old." Faith glanced back at the blue eyed woman, who was attempting to scowl at her as they patiently waited for the crowd of students in front of them to move. Faith smiled at the look, and quickly turned around again.

 A second later, Faith felt a hand gently touch her side, sending a shiver up her back. The slayer suddenly remembered the way she used to shun all human contact, acting like the people who tried to help her throughout her life had the plague or some other contagious disease. Touch was a feeling, a sensation, that Faith had avoided at all cost early in her life, but now the slayer was comfortable with it, realising she was leaning slightly into the touch, enjoying a hand that was not Phoebe's.

She cast a look back at the blue eyed woman, who slowly withdrew her hand, successful at getting the slayer's attention. "I'm a fan of hers. "

"Like I didn't guess with that glare you had on your face."

"I'm very touchy when it comes to her. Rule number one; stay away from the topic unless you feel like joining the secret society of all things Lucille."

"Rule number two; do not assume that I don't have the occasional glance at the TV when re-runs of her show are on." Faith stated in a mocking tone.

"Rule number three; do not assume. Period. I don't want to be made into a donkey."

* *

A few minutes passed in silence between the two of them before they stepped out into the sunshine. Faith realised suddenly that she didn't know the blue eyed woman's name as she strolled in the direction she came from before class, and chuckled at her stupidity.

"I'm trying to figure out if you're a Marilyn Manson groupie who's had too much sunshine, or a bad Barbie production."

Faith looked down at her clothes. She was decked out in her favourite black leather pants, her 'suck this' tank top, and her leather jacket. "I suppose to save my reputation, I'd have to go with that Alice Cooper wannabe choice. Just laughing at the fact that... "

"You still haven't bought the new Heather Nova cd yet?" the woman said, a cheeky grin appearing.

"Lucille Ball and Heather Nova. That would make for interesting listening."

"I know... my daughter bought the cd, and I kinda... "

"Borrowed it permanently. Yep, did that before. My friend Sydney got the Beth Hart cd for Piper a while ago and... did you just say 'daughter'?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" < Ah, hello? That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. >

"Actually no. Rory's a figment of my warped imagination. I made her up get away from my overbearing parents, endless debutante balls, and a very healthy and prestigious life."

"And I suppose by the tone of your voice that there's a problem with being rich?"

"Big problem... I was not the daughter my parents wanted."

Faith was silent for a minute, remembering the last time she saw her parents. She shivered at the thought, and shook her head, forcing the memory away.

"Hey. You okay?" The blue eyed woman asked quietly, the concerned tone surprising the slayer.

"Yeah... thankyou. Just thinking about my parents. So, it was Rory, wasn't it?"

"Yep." The woman smiled.

"Cool name."

"We actually have the same name."

"You're a Rory? Don't look like a Rory."

"No. I'm a Lorelai. Lorelai Gilmore. The kid goes by Rory. Nice to meet you." Lorelai grinned as she stopped, holding out her hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Faith." the slayer announced as she slowed to a stand still beside her friend, taking the other woman's hand in her own.

"No surname? Cute." Lorelai said.

"Me and cute don't go together." Faith said, disgusted.

"Have to disagree, if only to annoy you." The older brunette joked, noticing her friends distaste.

"So... you wanna grab a coffee?" the slayer asked, not knowing if Lorelai had another class straight away.

"Thought you'd never ask. "

Snowstorm.

"Do you want another coffee?" Lorelai asked Faith, glancing down at the coffee table cluttered with mugs and schoolwork.

"Uha... " Faith muttered, busily reading over and over her friends notes on product placement as they sat together on the Gilmore couch, a safe distance between them.

Lorelai looked up from the coffee table at the younger woman, and sighed to herself. She had hoped as soon as Faith had gotten there earlier that night that she would sit her down and tell her everything. Lorelai had decided that it was time to tell her friend that she had had a crush on her for some time, but the look on Faiths face when she had arrived showed that she was having problems at home. The older woman knew Faith was taken, and that had initially been the reason why she had kept quiet about her crush.

Lorelai had never known anyone who had eyes that were so dark and full of mystery, which brightened when Faith laughed and grinned, and darkened even more when she frowned.

She had been frowning a lot lately, and it annoyed Lorelai that there was something making Faith upset. She wanted to fix it, make things better, but Faith wouldn't let her, the youngster keeping it all to herself.

Now sitting at the edge of the couch with Faith concentrating so hard on her handwriting, trying not to look too unhappy, Lorelai wondered if there was ever going to be a right time for both of them when she could tell her friend that she was in love with her.

* *

Faith had looked out the lounge room window that night, without much thought, just to really stretch her neck. It had begun to snow pretty white flakes, so Faith had flopped Lorelai's notes beside her and gotten up off the couch for a quick look out the glass pane.

She could remember the first time she had seen snow. She had been five, sitting in her empty room, listening to her dad screaming at her mother. Faith really had to hold herself still when her father began his nightly assaults on her mother. There had been times where the fear and pain had become too much for the slayer, and she had gotten a beating too. Sometimes the hurt was easier to handle than just standing by. The first snow fell just as Faith was about to rush out of her room and into her father's lethal hands. She had almost begun to believe in God that night, because of that snow. Faith had learned not to be so naive by that age.

Now at 20, Faith was still in awe of it. She sat there watching it, wondering if Lorelai was ever going to tell her what her eyes always showed.

* *

When Lorelai returned with two steaming coffees, she found Faith standing beside the lounge room window, watching Stars Hollow's first snow of the winter. The young woman looked tired, and her shoulders were slumped, something Lorelai had gotten used to in the last month. Faith suddenly looked her way, a desperate look of sadness in her eyes. Lorelai could've sworn they were black in colour.

"You okay?" the older woman heard herself ask, unaware that her tongue could work on its own.

Faith wiped away the look on her face, and pulled a faint smile.

"Yeah," she said, as if she didn't even believe it herself. "Just thinking... of things. When I first fell in love with snow."

The older brunette crossed the living room and handed the slayer a mug of coffee, before sitting down at the window seat and focusing her attention on the snow.

"I'm in love with the snow too." Lorelai thought about the words, how they had rolled off her tongue so easily, and the double meaning of them.

Faith only nodded her head, and was sitting beside her before Lorelai even noticed, bringing the coffee cup to her lips. Lorelai tried to look her friend in the eye, but the slayer was looking anywhere but at her.

"Faith, how bad is it at home?" Lorelai inquired directly.

Faith looked at Lorelai, wondering if she could lie and get away with it. "The truth Faith. Please."

"Her dad... he just doesn't get it."

"The whole gay thing?"

"No... the fact that there's more to it than just a same sex relationship... "

"He's just scared that his daughter might get hurt this way... "

"She could get hurt a lot worse if she denied it."

"I think she would too... but he's her father. He just wants the best for her."

"He's... he is causing her more pain because he can't accept it."

"Faith, Victor will come around."

"I don't know if... Phoebes can't wait, and I don't think I can either."

"It'll be okay Faith. He'll come around, and everything'll be fine. I know it will." Lorelai said clearly, knowing in her heart that she wanted otherwise. She knew that thinking that way was totally wrong, and she scolded herself silently, looking to see if Faith had noticed.

"Where's that going to leave us?" Faith whispered, catching her friend's eyes.

Lorelai looked at her friend, a puzzled look crossing her face. Faith tilted her head slightly, indicating that Lorelai wasn't fooling her. The taller woman pleaded silently for Faith to drop the subject that she knew was coming.

"Lor... I know you want more." the smaller woman stated.

Lorelai looked out at the snow, which was gathering on the porch railing. Her hands were sweaty, a nervous reaction, and they started to shake openly, hardly grasping the green coffee cup. She put it down on the windowsill, almost spilling the coffee on the ivory bench cover.

Faith settled her own coffee mug at the other end of the sill, held out her hand and gently touched the other woman's arm with the tips of her fingers. The arm quickly shifted out of reach, as if Faith's touch had burned.

"Don't Faith."

"I know it's there Lor. I see it every time you look at me. I feel it in your hugs."

"Well, Diane Warren's got nothing on you." Lorelai said sarcastically.

Faith looked at her sadly, more distressed than before. "Since when have you been the one that cracks all the jokes when you don't want to have a deep and meaningful?"

"Since I fell in love with a girl... I can't have." Lorelai said, looking away when her tears started to spill.

All the slayer could think of to do at that moment was grab Lorelai, who tried in vain to pull away, and simply hold her shaky body to her own, letting her cry it all out.

* *

White snow had continued to fall heavily for the next couple of hours, Faith absently looking out the window at it, battling her inner thoughts and feelings about her and Lorelai's situation.

The Gilmore had quietened down a while ago, but the slayer had remained clutching her, knowing that she was retaining the moment and the feel of her friend in her memory, petrified that this would be the last time they would ever touch each other or be together.

< I don't want to lose her. >

Faith had lost so many people in her life. Her father had taken her mothers life on Valentine's Day when she was ten. She had never really loved them because they were both terrible people, who basically fucked each other over, but they were her parents and she had been deeply troubled after her death and his subsequent arrest.

Her first watcher had been killed by a medieval vamp when she was seventeen. Faith had simply layed there, watching as the undead son of a bitch ripped her companion apart. Kate had been the first person she had let in, and it had been a huge mistake. Running from Kakistos, her friend's killer, she vowed to herself that nobody would ever get close to her again.

The vow had been the problem between Buffy and her. The older slayer had tried time and time again to be a good friend to Faith, but the brunette had switched on her emotional blinkers. She had reminded herself of her eternal promise every night while she was in Sunnydale, the blonde finally giving up on her after putting Faith in a coma.

The Halliwells and Sydney were not people that gave up easily. Dealing with the supernatural on a weekly basis had taught all four of them to never yield, and this family quality was handy when they had met the slayer. Faith was equipped with the greatest senses because of the slaying, but was terrible at understanding who she could trust. It had taken a whole year for the foursome to get her to depend on them enough to know that they had her back when they patrolled vamp central, and in general.

The new problem that had surfaced was Mr Halliwell. His disapproval of her and Phoebe's relationship was putting a great strain on the both of them, leading the youngest Halliwell to question what was once unbreakable. Piper had previously demanded that he accept her and Sydney, and he had done so reluctantly, Faith always noting the criticism in his voice when he talked about the two. She wasn't sure if Piper or Sydney heard it, so she had let it be.

Faith could remember the two of them fighting for a long time because of him, yet they had made it through. Faith guessed it was because they had spent a lot of time together while Victor was out of town. Her and Phoebe had had about six months less than that. Phoebe hadn't had time to choose whether she would give up her dad for the slayer or not. Faith didn't know whether she would even fight to keep her, and that scared her.

Lorelai's crush on her had been in the back of her mind for the last few months, and it was comforting to know that she did have someone who cared about her. Faith had wondered on occasion if there could be more to her and Lorelai's relationship, and it occurred to her that she could very well be in denial about loving Lorelai at four in the morning while dusting some vamp.

Lorelai shifted a fraction, breathing out of rhythm for a while, as if she'd just woken up from a dream. Faith tightened the hold on her, and kissed the top of her head without much thought, as if it was as natural as breathing. The older woman lifted her head to look at Faith, the slayer knowing Lorelai wanted to find something that indicated that she might feel the same way about her, whether it was there now, or could be in the future.

She didn't even know whether she was up to loving Lorelai. The older Gilmore seemed to have been a tiny miracle to her, giving her something to think about other than demons and vampires. Lorelai had given her the normal part of her life, something that she had never had before.

Being ordinary used to scare her when she thought all she was good for was being the slayer. Her parents had a lot to do with that, every second sentence they pulled together being a put down. Slaying had given her something to do, had given her life meaning, and although the slaying part of her life could never leave without her dying, Faith still used to be frightened of the thought that she could still turn out to be a nobody like her loser parents.

The Halliwells were her family, but they weren't normal people. They were dealing with evil on a daily basis, like she had been since she was 15.

Thinking about it now, the only 'real' normal she had had was when she was here, in the Gilmore house. Being physically and verbally attacked by her parents wasn't normal, and fighting evil wasn't either. Lorelai and Rory were the only ordinary people she knew, and that made them special to her. "What's on your mind?" Lorelai asked, bringing Faith back to reality.

"Just realising how much you... and Rory... have given me."

"Are we talking in terms of food or in terms of coffee?"

"Ha, funny. I meant in terms of... I don't know. Advice, the use of your phone, the couch... "

"So, material girl... that's it?"

"You've taken me in... "

"Faith... you have to know that the feeling is mutual. Rory and I... we think you're pretty special too. Rory sees you as her big sister. A lot of it is the fact that there's only four years between you and her, but I don't think our friendship would be so intense if Rory and you hadn't hit it off from day one. She's pretty good when it comes to people."

"She's a good kid. I dunno... it feels the same for me."

Lorelai smiled at Faith, who did the same.

"You know, I'm trying to figure out if there's more to us than I'm willing to see. You've picked up on it, so... have I been leading you on?"

The older woman looked shocked.

"It's probably just my imagination." Faith shrugged.

"Probably... .still, it doesn't explain the fact that we're practically sitting on each other, and you seem okay with that." Lorelai said, searching for an expression on the slayers face to show that she was getting through to her.

The slayer sighed quietly to herself, and looked out the window at the snow. Lorelai lifted her hands up from around her friend to Faith's face, and gently moved her head so the slayer was facing her again. Lorelai moved slowly, but deliberately in, kissing Faith softly on the lips. The slayer kissed her back momentarily, before the older woman pulled out of the kiss and rested her forehead against Faiths.

"Faith... I don't know how I'm supposed to stop loving you... I don't want to."

"Don't then." Faith said, kissing Lorelai urgently, suddenly not caring about anything other than the need to have Lorelai with her all the way.

Decisions.

Faith frowned and pinched herself for drifting back to the night of the snowstorm, and glanced at Phoebe sitting across from her on the bed.

(( It's over Faith... it's been over for a long time. ))

As much as the words had hurt, the slayer had been expecting them. It had just been a matter of time.

She needed to rest. She was worn out emotionally from her and Phoebe's fights, which had been intensifying over the last week. The truth about her and Lorelai had come out during the fight that night, Faith screaming it out suddenly. She had felt the weight of the secret lift from her shoulders at that moment, and it made her wonder again if someone was upstairs helping her out.

No amount of apologising from Faith would get Phoebe to speak after that. The slayer noticed that silence seemed scarier to her now that Phoebe was soundless, pondering over her thoughts.

As much as she wanted to rest, she knew she wouldn't be getting any with her mind working overtime. The slaying over the last twelve days had been intense, Faith letting her anger out in lethal quantities at all things apocalyptic. She had gotten into a routine of staying out all night, and sleeping most of the morning, and her general awareness during the night was sticking with her now, no matter how much she was worn out.

< Ah... the life of a slayer. Always on the move... >

Faith legs barely held her as she stood up and walked out without a word to the woman next to her. She took the stairs carefully, a hand holding the banister tightly, and caught a glimpse of her family in the Manor lounge room.

Piper had attempted to play the umpire when Faith and Phoebe's rational discussion had turned into a screaming match, having been used to the role as the middle sister before Prue's untimely death. Phoebe, now the centre of the family, had almost hit her sister for it too, pissed off by the fact that her girlfriend had slept with another woman, and that their relationship was not what it used to be.

Phoebe had retreated upstairs to calm down, this really peeving the slayer off, who trekked on after her in a rage because Phoebe was calling all the shots. That wasn't fair, and they proceeded on with their battle in Phoebe's room, away from the rest of the family.

The Halliwells and Sydney had always looked at her with a sense of admiration for holding the slaying thing together, the four being in a similar situation as witches and protectors of the innocent. It was a burden they all beared together. Now they just looked up at her as if she was a stranger. Faith supposed she was now.

Sydney came into view as she grabbed her leather jacket off the antique hat stand near the front door.

"Where are you going Faith?"

For a minute the slayer wondered if it was possible that she could answer at all. The confrontation with Phoebe had left her throat dry, and she ran the tip of her tongue along the top of her palate, the lack of saliva causing a rough sensation rather than a tickling feeling.

"Faith?"

She looked back at her friend as she slipped her jacket on, and found a flash of pity in Sydney's eyes. The slayer had always hated when people thought she was a charity case, but her best friend had never acted like she was one, so it was a strange to see Sydney behaving like Faith was a lost cause. It made her angry, and she never was angry with the older brunette.

"It's over between... thought I'd walk around, figure out where it all went wrong."

"It's over... what? Faith, what do you mean it's over?"

"Ask Phoebe... "

"I'm asking you."

"I slept with Lorelai."

"What?"

"That's what happened."

"That's what was distracting you from your slaying? Well, that makes sense."

"Nothing's distracted me from slaying."

"Don't you remember Guyuin?"

"He didn't even come close to... "

"Hurting us? Guess you've conveniently forgotten about this then." Sydney pulled her black v-neck up, exposing her navel and the three-inch diagonal scar just to the right of it. Faith took half a step back, still amazed at the wound. She knew Guyuin had gotten Sydney that night, but it was like she had thrown the memory away, unable to really comprehend that she, the slayer, had allowed it to happen.

The injury had been deep, and Faith could recall how much blood had soaked into her friend's favourite blue top. The one that said '100% Free' on the front, and 'but I'm taken guys' on the back. Faith had gone into desperate panic mode, leaving the equally upset sisters to vanquish Guyuin by themselves.

"Faith... you need to fix this." Sydney said, letting her shirt fall.

"There's nothing to fix. It's over... " Faith stated sharply, turning to walk out the Manor front door.

Sydney caught Faith's arm, and the slayer spun around to look her friend in the eyes.

"Do you love her?"

"Phoebe doesn't love me... not since her father stepped in. How am I supposed..."

"I meant... Lorelai." Sydney interrupted.

"I don't know. I know she's had a crush on me since... well, since whenever it was."

"Faith, that doesn't mean you have to love her back. I mean, I thought you and Phoebe were working things out. I know Victor is... well, a pain in the ass, but your relationship is stronger."

"Tell that to Phoebe. Look, I have to get out of here." Faith said, pulling her arm out of her friend's reach.

"When are you going to be back?"

"Not for a while... guess I'll have to move out."

"Faith, we'll work it out... "

"It can't be... the only thing that's going to make things easier for me is moving out."

"We have to stick together with the supernatural stuff Faith."

"Yeah, I know... you still got my back on that, right?"

"Right. We've all got your back. Even Phoebe. She knows it's important."

"In theory yes, but... "

"Her sisters will pull her into line if anything happens."

"We know them too well."

"We do... Promise me you'll take it easy, okay?"

"You know I will... "

"And no sleeping on anything that's not a bed, got it? I'd rather you sleep where it's safe."

"As opposed to a house that is constantly being attacked by all things demon?"

"Any other time and that would be funny."

Faith quickly hugged Sydney, squeezing her friend tightly. Sydney hugged back firmly.

"I'll talk to Piper and Paige... we'll see each other again, won't we? Don't just disappear off the face of the earth."

"I won't... besides, someone has to keep those vamps at bay." Faith remarked quietly.

"Are we still on for the slaying tonight?"

Faith nodded, walking backwards a few feet to the door.

"Okay... I'll see you then. Take care... love you." Sydney smiled calmly.

"Thank you." Faith grabbed the front door handle.

"Faith?" Sydney added, reaching for her blue beanie on top of the coat stand. Faith glanced back in time to catch it at her chest, sighing at the cool rush of nightly air from outside as she walked out of the Manor and down the porch steps.

Dealing.

Lorelai Gilmore was already in bed at 9 o'clock that evening, tucked under the covers, and determined not to come out again. Ever.

Work that day had been a comedy of errors. As soon as she'd started the jeep, she was reminded of Faith, the absent love of her life. A Tool song was on the radio; Faiths favourite in fact. Lorelai knew of them before Faith, but had dismissed them before hearing any of their tracks, convinced they were just another rip-off of Metallica. Her friend had turned it up to an ear aching level as they drove to uni one morning, and was singing with all her heart, while Lorelai had laughed quietly to herself.

Thinking of Faith was a bad idea. The Lorelai and Faith train had derailed after the snowstorm, and she hadn't heard from the youngster since. She had seen her during exam week at U.S.F though, Faith making it clear that she needed time from Lorelai by completely ignoring her.

She had switched the radio station over, and found the Bangles on an a.m. frequency. She could deal with the Bangles, the group getting Rory asleep one night after a nightmare. That was until halfway through the classic 'Walk like an Egyptian', when she remembered Faith doing her special rendition of the arm actions in the Gilmore lounge room. The shorter woman had added a serious head banging action that she felt could've kept the band alive. Lorelai had disagreed profusely with her, saying that the arm movements were cool enough.

(( "Where are they now?" Faith bluntly asked. "The heavier you are, the longer you are around." ))

Lorelai Gilmore had again reached for the tuning plug, but had switched the radio off that time.

< Even the Bangles are ruined by her. >

The rest of the day was just more of the 20-year-old. Sookie St James, her friend and head chef at the Independence Inn, had been beside herself with excitement over some reworked recipe, which had turned out to be Italian lasagne, Faiths favourite.

The restaurant had received a visit from a priest out of Hartford, who had ordered risotto. Sookie had insisted on telling him the story of the magic risotto, even though her timing was rather inappropriate and she actually had a job to do. Lorelai had overheard him mentioning how nice it was that her friend had faith in her cooking, although he wished people had a more prominent faith in the Lord.

She had decided she needed chocolate at that point, and had checked the kitchen for some. There was none, of course. There was no ready-made coffee either, which was rather strange for Sookie to forget it. Lorelai usually bit her head off if there was none.

(( "The elder Gilmore doesn't work without coffee." Faith said sarcastically. ))

She agreed with the wisecrack, and looked at the coffee machine as if it would alone make her a cup.

"Oh, hi. Sorry about the coffee. Or lack of coffee." Sookie exclaimed as she noticed the blank look on the taller woman's face, standing a safe distance away, ready for her usual attack.

Lorelai had simply frowned, said it was okay, and walked out.

< Me not demanding to know where the coffee was, and totally not going over the top... she really has gotten to me. >

Wondering.

She had spent three hours thinking about things, but the only conclusion she had come up with so far was that Phoebe was right to break it off.

The slayer looked around and realised she hadn't been in Stars Hollow since early December, and the place seemed oddly unfamiliar. She remembered how accustomed she had become to the town and the eccentric people that lived there. The place had initially reminded her of Sunnydale, which reminded her of Buffy, and that she was never a good memory. Faith had made herself forget the similarity between the towns her first day there, and the recollection of Sunnydale never crossed her mind until now.

She pushed the thought away and focused on the things she and Lorelai had done the day the taller woman took her into town. They had drunk 5 cups of coffee each at Luke's, and spent an hour and a half in the town bookshop arguing whether Stephen King was a better writer than Danielle Steel. They had bought some much-needed lunch, which gave Lorelai the excuse to point out Rory's boyfriend Dean, and had sat in the town gazebo, eating potato chips and discussing the towns history. Tailor had turned up to complain about the noise they had been making, and the two of them had teased and dismissed his objections long after he had gone back to Doose's Market. Faith took every opportunity to crack a joke, just to hear the other woman laugh and smile. That was the best part of the day for the slayer, and the complete wacky attitude of Lorelai had warmed her inside, so much so that she had had to take off her light blue sweater.

< Not bad after we were only supposed to head into town for a quick coffee... study break my ass. >

Faith knew she was heading to Lorelai's house without a plausible plan, just wanting to see the older woman. Faith had acted like they had never known each other the week of exams, hating every minute of it of the awkwardness. But that was the way the slayer dealed. She avoided things that were too hard emotionally. Lorelai would hold it against her.

The slayer passed Luke's slowly, peering in to see that the interior had been repainted a great colour.

< Luke would've never done that by himself... >

The owner himself was wearing his trademark flannel shirt and blue jeans, and the blue cap Lorelai had bought him. He spotted Faith through the curtain-less window as he looked up from wiping the counter down, and gestured her to come in. The slayer shook her head and pointed in the direction of where she was heading, and Luke nodded understandably, smiling at her seriously for the first time.

The slayer had almost passed the store when a thought came. < Hang on... what was he smirking about? The guy is permanently unhappy. Shit... she's told him. >

Faith spun around to look at Luke, who had returned to cleaning the counter, but still had the smile on his face. She knocked on the window glass, startling him. He glared at her, and she glared back, half serious about it. He was the first one to look away, and Faith trekked back to the shop door to find out what he knew about her and Lorelai's situation.

"Thought you were heading to Lorelai's."

"What was that creepy look about?"

"Just remembered something that Lorelai told me as you walked past."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I was dealing it out for dramatic effect."

"It ain't working. Just pissing me off."

"Bad idea."

"Bad idea."

"You need coffee."

"I need coffee?"

"You look like crap."

"I feel like crap."

"Hard day."

"Understatement."

Luke poured Faith a cup of coffee as she sat down, making sure she left it on this morning's newspaper instead of on the spotless counter.

"So what did she say that made you look like you were high?"

"Don't ever mention any sort of drug references in here again."

"Just tell me. I'm not in the mood." Faith took a quick gulp of coffee, the liquid burning the inside of her mouth.

"Well, it isn't exactly what she said... "

"Oh dear lord... "

"... more of how happy she has been lately."

"She's been happy here... without me?"

"No. When you two were like this." He held up his crossed fingers, indicating the closeness that had existed between her and Lorelai.

Faith nodded.

"Now that you haven't been in Stars Hollow, it's like she's in one big foul mood. You put her off her coffee." Luke confirmed, leaning on the edge of the counter.

"Impossible."

"Possible."

"You're lying."

"That's the truth.

"Lorelai?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Lorelai?"

"Ok, maybe there's a chance that I'm talking about the caffeine-free totally sane Lorelai who loves David Letterman and is happily married to a guy her parents picked from a deb ball. Are you talking about her?"

"Na, doesn't sound like her at all."

"Hmm, I wonder why."

"You are talking about Lorelai 'Self confessed coffee addict' Gilmore?"

"Drug reference!"

"Very loose reference." "You put her off her coffee."

"That's big."

"That's huge."

"Wow."

"You'd better go see her."

"The situation is worse than you think."

"What could be worse than Lorelai off coffee?"

"Not much... Charlie Manson for president?"

"You sicko."

"That's me."

"Go see her."

"I don't think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"That's the long story."

"Look... go sit in the gazebo, and have a think. I'll call her in half an hour, and tell her to go for a walk. Straight past the gazebo."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"No."

"It's ten thirty."

"I doubt she's asleep. In fact, I'm pretty sure the two of them don't sleep at all."

"You can put that down to your amazing coffee."

"You're just sucking up so that you can twist my arm into not calling Lorelai."

"Sounding very familiar."

"Go, or I'll ring her right now."

"Okay... thank you."

"Hang on." Luke took Faith's cup of coffee off the counter and moved toward the coffeepot to make her a cup to go.

"Luke... you do remember that I have no money, right?"

"Yes... it's just my way of thanking you for getting up Taylors nose."

Faith took the coffee from him, and smiled faintly.

"I try my best with him... we'll have to work out a game plan to push him out of this town."

"I'll go draw up the blue prints now." Luke stated wryly, heading for the front door. Faith stood up and walked behind him, sliding her free hand into her jacket.

"Luke?"

"Faith." he said, opening the door for the slayer.

"Thanks for... the good idea. Give me some time to sort out what I'm going to say."

"You're welcome."

Faith lifted her hand and touched his arm, and he shifted his head towards the gazebo, urging her to go. Faith walked out into the night with the coffee burning her hands, Luke shutting the door behind her and heading upstairs.

Memories.

She headed towards the gazebo at a leisurely pace, the chilly night air creeping under her jacket, so she zipped the front up to her neck with her free hand. The streetlights of the town illuminated the gazebo, and Faith let the memories slide back to her as she walked the remaining fifty metres to her destination.

(( "This is the exact spot where two lovers found each other after years apart by the guidance of the stars. Hence the name 'Stars Hollow'. Luke has the opinion that two drunken idiots named the town after a prostitute, but he has no evidence to support it. I'm with the rest of the town on the origin of Stars Hollow, even though I don't see the point of an annual festival for it..."

"Lorelai?" Faith interrupted.

"Hmm?"

"I'm in a relationship with a woman.'

"Duh. Of course you're in a relationship with a woman. I'm a woman. We're friends, aren't we? Friendship is classified as a relationship... " Lorelai stopped mid-sentence, a different look crossing her face, as if she understood what Faith meant. ))

The slayer stopped at the foot of the gazebo steps, and sat down on the edge of the top one. The coffee was warming her hand, and she held the cup for some time, enjoying the heat it was giving before leaving it beside her. From the north side of the gazebo she could see the way Lorelai would come, and the thought of the older woman made her smile. The slayer quietly sat there knowing that she had some time to herself, allowing more memories to come back to her.

(( Oh, I can't. I have to get home to... "

"Your boyfriend?" Lorelai interrupted, standing up from her seat at Lukes.

"Kinda." Faith automatically did the same, pushing her empty plate towards the middle of the table.

"Oh, you can't be married!" Lorelai shouted, catching Luke glaring at her from behind the counter. She smiled at him and paid for lunch, knowing Faith was terminally broke.

"I'm twenty... I can't even drink legally yet... although that never really stopped me in the past." Faith said, ending their conversation as they stepped outside and walked in the afternoon sunshine. She got quiet, a reflection of her former troubles crossing her face. It was a moment before the slayer shook her head and forgot the thought, asking Lorelai to say hi to Sookie for her.

"Polite change of subject." Lorelai said to herself.

"I wasn't trying to change the subject." Faith explained defensively, stopping.

"Yeah, you were." Lorelai remarked, turning back towards the younger woman.

"I can't spend more than one day with you in peace without you prying into my life."

"Faith... I'm not prying."

"What is it then?" the slayer said.

"I care about you. I'm worried. You didn't just see that terrible look on your face. I did, and it is scaring the crap out of me that I don't know what is always bothering you."

Faith just looked at her, agitated.

"I shouldn't have brought this up again. I'm sorry." Lorelai said, taking a step towards Faith.

"I have to go."

"Don't run. Except my 'sorry'." The older woman asked, grabbing the arm of Faiths leather jacket.

Faith was silent and allowed Lorelai to hold on.

"Faith... please. Trust me."

"One day... I'll tell you. Just not today. I swear." ))

Cold.

Lorelai was freezing and annoyed. A pang of embarrassment had hit her as she hurried passed Babette's house, realising she was in public in her 'I love Lucy' pyjamas. No one was around at one in the morning though, and the brunette smiled at her stupidity as she picked up her already fast pace.

< What the hell. I need the exercise. Anything to get my mind off Faith... thankyou Luke for ringing me and getting me out of that dream of her... but what the hells at the gazebo? Something important you say. Something important to you is the score for a Yankees game... if that's the reason you pulled me out of bed, I'm gonna be on a murder charge by noon tomorrow... Rory will have to go live with her grandparents... the poor thing. Pack your earplugs honey... >

Jogging in her pyjamas was interesting to say the least. The pyjama bottoms kept slipping down off her hips, and the grey puff jacket she had thrown over the top of her p.j top was restricting her arm movement.

< Luke... you owe me big. >

Curiosity about what was at the gazebo had hit her like the cool wind, and she realised her annoyance had gone. She knew Luke wouldn't have got her out of bed without a plausible reason, and it wasn't her birthday, Christmas or any other present filled holiday anytime soon so Lorelai was stuck about what was so important to him.

She was almost there. She wondered if she should brace herself for whatever it was that was a minute or so ahead of her, fear crossing her mind. She decided she should.

Lorelai spotted Faith before the slayer saw her, and couldn't help from smiling. It was a natural reaction, just like the thoughts she was having about how good the younger woman looked. It was like all logical thought seemed to have flown off with the wind.

< Luke... you're a sneak. >

Faith was looking down in thought mode, a frown on her face. Lorelai got a sick feeling in her stomach at that moment, hating that frown more than anything else did. She wanted to walk over there and make that frown disappear, wanted to hug Faith so tightly and never let go. The brunette recognised the ache she felt for the other woman had resurfaced, making her feel nauseous.

< Look up... please. >

Love.

She knew she had never been this nervous before either. A million things had been running through her head as she sat there on the gazebo steps, ranging from realisations about her future with Lorelai to the sadness of losing Phoebe and leaving the Halliwells and Sydney behind.

There had been so many fears that came shooting into her mind as well. The slayer was scared Lorelai had changed while they were apart. She remembered the taller woman as the smartest, funniest person she had ever met in her life. Things had changed so quickly though, and the slayer wondered if this lifelong run of mixed luck was ever going to end for her.

Apart from the Halliwell's, the Gilmore's were the only people that cared about her and looked after her. They were the ones that had lent her the couch when she didn't want to go home, it was their coffee that she had the last of. She owed Lorelai so much, and that much dependence to anybody had worried Faith in the past. It still niggled away at her sometimes, usually late at night when she was trying to get some sleep, but she had gotten used to it, accepting it as something she had fought too long against.

Faith was glad she had forgotten the watch her family had given her for her birthday on the bathroom sink that morning. She was constantly looking at her bare arm anyway, her nervous state giving her the chance to forget any common sense that told her that her watch was not on her.

That nervousness took her mind off the fear of rejection from the older woman that she had let creep inside.

The slayer had never gotten used to being rejected, although she had had enough experience on that front. That was the thing she never got. She had spent her whole life being left behind by the people in her life when they eventually got sick of her, yet she had a tendency to keep coming back for more.

< When I think about it, the whole 'vow to let no one near' wasn't exactly a walk in the park either... naive and stupid. Still... >

Breathing shallowly, Faith looked up and watched Lorelai wave cautiously at her.

< Comes down to this... >

Faith had no idea what to say, and couldn't even think of any words as Lorelai approached the gazebo. The older woman was holding her attention all the way, and it dawned on her that she was really in love with Lorelai, didn't simply love her as a best friend, but loved her with all her heart. The night of the snowstorm had simply made her realise it.

< There it is... >

The slayer stood up, breaking their eye contact to look at the coffees as Lorelai stepped onto the step below and took a huge breath.

"Lorelai Gilmore, I... I love you." Faith said loudly, voice breaking as she looked at her friend, her lover through teary eyes.

Tears fell from the taller woman's eyes at the words, and she leaned forward to passionately kiss Faith, and Faith knew that whatever happened next, she'd be able to handle because she was safe and loved.

The End